Beyond the process shit

I've had many bosses various types of bosses. The best have told me "you get more bees with honey" or "that was bullshit, but the explanation for that bullshit in the me"; the worst told me to "mind myself around the rich and powerful" or to "know your place". I have remembered the best and worst of both extremes and fall short of both expectations. But, the best advice that I ever got was from a waiter I worked with at a sleepy little pub on Wabash in Chicago who taught me what he called the "sandwich technique". It works in every environment and with almost anybody. It has to do with influence, getting what you want, and giving bad news. It goes like this (and this example is in the context of giving someone constructive criticism). When giving somebody news that they don't want to hear you tell them something positive first before launching into your diatribe otherwise they will most likely tune out, and then end with a positive. Sandwich the negatives with positives. For example when someone orders something from the menu that is no longer available instead of simply saying "oh, I'm sorry we don't have that anymore" you start with "that is an excellent choice, it's one of our most popular and because of that we don't have that anymore tonight but may I recommend a dish that is one of my favorites that I think you may also enjoy. We will have more of that dish and you should definitely try it, so you should come in and try it next week." Positive-negative-positive.

The Reality of Process vs. People

Let's be honest - Scrum isn't just about following ceremonies and rituals. It's about building great products with great people. Sometimes you need to break the rules, adapt the framework, and focus on what actually delivers value to your customers.

The sandwich technique isn't just about delivering bad news - it's about understanding that people respond better when they feel valued and heard. The same principle applies to how we approach agile processes.

Why the "Process Shit" Gets in the Way

Too often, teams get bogged down in the mechanics of Scrum:

• Rigid adherence to ceremonies without understanding their purpose
• Focusing on velocity metrics instead of actual value delivered
• Getting caught up in estimation debates rather than building solutions
• Treating the framework as gospel instead of a tool to be adapted

The truth is, the best agile teams I've worked with understand that the process serves the people, not the other way around.

The Sandwich Approach to Agile

Just like that waiter taught me, successful agile implementation requires finesse:

Positive: Acknowledge what's working well with the current approach Constructive: Address the specific issues that need attention Positive: End with a clear path forward that everyone can get behind

This approach works whether you're:

• Introducing new practices to a resistant team
• Addressing process issues in retrospectives
• Communicating with stakeholders about timeline changes
• Helping team members improve their skills

Building Great Products with Great People

At the end of the day, successful software development isn't about perfect adherence to any framework. It's about:

• Trust: Creating an environment where people can do their best work
• Communication: Ensuring everyone understands the why behind what we're building
• Adaptation: Being willing to change course when something isn't working
• Value: Keeping the focus on what actually matters to users and the business

The Best Advice Still Applies

That waiter's advice has served me well across different industries and project types. Whether you're dealing with difficult stakeholders, resistant team members, or process improvements, remember:

People tune out when they feel attacked or dismissed. But when you start with recognition, address issues constructively, and end with a positive path forward, you're much more likely to create the change you want to see.

So next time you're tempted to dive straight into what's wrong with your current process, try the sandwich technique instead. You might be surprised at how much more receptive people become when they feel heard and valued first.